|Friend:||*logs onto Skype*|
|Me:||*wonder where she is*|
|Me:||*maybe she's just ignoring me*|
|Me:||*because she hates me*|
|Me:||*oh god she hates me*|
|Me:||*oh god why does she hate me what did I do*|
|Me:||*then again she’s not been on in weeks*|
|Me:||*then it’s HER fault our relationship crumbled*|
|Me:||*I HATE HER TOO*|
|Me:||*I SHOULD FUCKING GIVE HER A PIECE OF MY MIND*|
|Me:||*FUCK THAT BITCH*|
|Friend:||Hey, sorry, my computer froze|
|Me:||All good, how’re you?|
The worst thing we can imagine is being called out on our faults and subsequently abandoned. We are either invincible or worthless. The loss of love negates everything good about us. The relief from the pain is punishment, swift and severe.
My heart didn’t break because we broke up. I understood why. I most of the time agreed with it. I could accept it.
What broke my heart was how quick i went from his “everything” to nothing. The fact that the only person who cared about me, just stopped. The person who, once upon a time, didn’t…
I am crying over the loss of something I never had. How ridiculous. Mourning something that never was – my dashed hopes, dashed dreams, and my soured expectations.
Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
I wish this didn’t resonate so much with me as it does…(via irate-insomniac)
I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.
I can never look forward to anything good coming in my life because it’s always bad or somehow manages to be ruined. Nothing gets better.